Mischief Mercantile

funny holiday card: "it's the most ____ time of the year."

funny holiday card: "all is neither calm nor bright."

funny holiday card: "here's your fucking holiday card."

funny holiday card: "chappy chanukah"

honest sympathy card: "i'm sorry the universe is a cunt."

honest sympathy card: the long "fuck."

honest sympathy card: "fuck."

funny baby card: "thanks for having a baby so mom and dad get off my back."

funny baby card: "whatever comes out, i promise to say it's cute."

funny baby card: "may your baby grow up to be more than just another turd in the gene pool." ."

funny baby card: "winner, winner! ya put a baby in 'er."

funny baby card: "if anyone could use a 9-month break from alcohol, it's you."

funny notebook: "write like nobody's reading. edit like everybody is."

funny notebook: "misfit in"

funny notebook: "stay positive, you piece of shit"

funny birthday card: "i'm still 84% sure you're adopted, but you're cool anyway."

funny birthday card: "every party is a surprise at your advanced age."

funny birthday card: "involuntary conscription into the human race..."

funny birthday card: "you don't look a day older than someone considerably older than you."

funny birthday card: "happy motherfucking birthday! i mean, if mom still puts out. hi, mom!"