Birds of a Feather Candle Co.

i pee outside

i take my whiskey straight but my friends can go either way.

i will always cherish the initial misconceptions. i had about you.

if i had to hide a body you'd be the first person i'd call.

it's not my fault. it's menopause.

moist because at least one person you know hates this word.

my milkshake brings all the narcissists to the yard.

nobody liked him anyway

of course you look good; i don't have ugly friends.

sage that shit

sisters before misters

smells suspish

true crime. drink wine. bed by nine.

wtf wine tasting with friends.

you can't fix stupid.... but you can divorce it.

woke up gay again

don't text your ex

stop trying to make everyone happy....you're not tequila

my kid is turning out just like me. well played, karma. well-played.

trying to make protein shakes, but they keep coming out as margaritas.