cheeky kumquat

balloons and shit card

just the right amount

for your birthday i baked you an organic, gluten-free, low carb, high protein cake card

it's your birthday and we are all compelled to make you the awkward center of our unwanted attention try to enjoy it card

i hope your cake doesn't give you diarrhea card

i'm so glad you seduced me with your charming awkwardness card

every day i fall more in love with you except on those days you really piss me off card