FlopShirts

home is where the wifi connects automatically

your team sucks

333 half evil

fireworks director, i run, you run

that's mr. asshole to you

i never finish anythi

warning: may contain alcohol

i speak fluent sarcasm

it's not drinking alone if your cat is with you

i'm not insane - my mother had me tested!

sassy lassy - st. patrick's day

i shamrock beer - st. patrick's day

magically delicious - st. patrick's day

pontoon captain - like a regular captain only drunker

life is full of important choices - golf

i'm the captain - to save time let's assume i've always right

you can't scare me, i have two daughters

gotta love a good pole dance

dogs make me happy, humans make my head hurt

i'm out of this world