Filthy Paper Co.

you must be the rain. because you make me so wet.

you must be a spa. because i want a facial.

you must be plywood. because i wanna nail you.

you must be a crossword. because i wanna do you.

you must be a teddy bear. because i wanna sleep with you.

you must be a bicycle. because i wanna ride you.

happy birthday! frosting isn't the only thing getting licked this year.

happy birthday! candles aren't the only thing getting blown this year.

happy father's day! thanks for not pulling out.

happy mother's day! thanks for deciding to keep me.

happy father's day! you motherfucker.

gift wrapping is hard. so am i.

gifts are expensive. good thing this dick is free.

gifts are expensive. good thing this pussy is free.