We Didn't Playtest This at All

In this exceptionally silly and awesome game, your objective is to win! Simple enough. Sadly, all of your opponents have the same simple goal, and they're trying to make you lose. Between Rock Paper Scissors battles, being eaten by a random Dragon, or saved by a Kitten Ambush, there are many hazards to avoid. Everyone starts with 2 cards. On your turn, draw one card from the deck, and then play one from your hand following the instructions on the card. There are many hazards to avoid, including: bombs, dragons, arrows, laser pointers, black holes, Rock Paper Scissors battles, number battles, zombies, etc. Luckily items abound that can save you, too: spaceships, science, shields, dinosaurs and a kitten ambush! There are Star Cards: they are clearly superior to normal cards. Every player has an equal chance of drawing a Star Card from the deck.