The Shidduch Crisis

by Dr. Michael J. Salamon Hardcover, 141 pages ISBN 13: 978-965-524-006-1 ISBN 10: 965-524-006-1 publication: 2008 The Shidduch Crisis: Causes and Cures takes a hard, honest look at the real difficulties faced by the dating public in today’s Orthodox world. With the rates of divorce and eating disorders rising, complaints regarding the shortage of men and the move away from socializing activities to the extensive use of third-party matchmakers, a true crisis exists and may be worsening. In this book, the author explores these issues, particularly those related to how matches are made. He finds that most are made based on availability, not compatibility, and on superficial criteria that have no relevance to what truly makes a marriage successful. Citing relevant data from the fields of psychology, sociology, and neurology, along with a host of anecdotes from a wide range of people, Dr. Salamon, a well-known psychologist, author, and lecturer, provides guidelines to help alleviate this crisis. Dr. Salamon looks at the lists of criteria, the questions that people ask and the expectations for a mate that have developed over the last several years within the shidduch (matchmaking for marriage) process, and shows how they are counter-intuitive for forming healthy marriages. He also shows how much of what passes for background checking, in fact, may be lashon ha-ra (tale bearing). But most importantly, Dr. Salamon provides real suggestions for going beyond the physical, superficial standards that have contributed to a developing shidduch crisis. He advocates an approach where a measure of personal maturity is returned to those who are dating and makes the case for alleviating the external pressures on the dating couple. About the Author: Michael J. Salamon, PH.D., FPPR, has worked with the Jewish communities of the Greater New York area for more than two decades. He has been at the forefront of influencing the Jewish community to acknowledge and deal with the challenges it faces, including dating and relationship issues, substance and alcohol abuse, eating and other disorders relating to body image issues, and physical abuse. Dr. Salamon is a sought after speaker by synagogues, yeshivas, and Jewish communal institutions throughout the United States. He is the author of many assessment tools including the Life Satisfaction Scale and the Addiction Dependency Scale, as well as the book Home or Nursing Home: Making the Right Choice. He has presented more than 100 papers at national and international conferences. Dr. Salamon is the founder and director of the Adult Developmental Center, Inc., a comprehensive psychological consulting practice in Hewlett, NY. He empowers individuals and families to cope with the various psychological challenges that arise throughout the life span. Among his areas of specialization are substance abuse and alcoholism counseling, crisis management, child, family, and marital counseling, therapeutic interventions, and gerontology. Dr. Michael Salamon received his doctorate in psychology from Hofstra University. He is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, a Fellow of the Gerontological Society of America’s Behavioral and Social Sciences Section and a board certified Diplomate- Fellow Prescribing Psychologist Register.