The Modern Loss Handbook

THE MODERN LOSS HANDBOOK is what author and Modern Loss cofounder Rebecca Soffer wished she had after her parents died. With wisdom gained from her own personal experience, expert advice, and insights from the global Modern Loss community, This book is for anyone who has lost their “person” or wants to give something meaningful and effective to someone who has. Rebecca’s warmth, wit and disarming humor make this an approachable and supportive companion at any stage of loss. Modern Loss is a global movement and platform of content, resources and community focused on eradicating the stigma around grief while also encouraging people to find meaning and live richly. THE MODERN LOSS HANDBOOK does just that by offering a welcoming space in which to grow thoughts and feelings as they evolve and create a personal roadmap toward resilience. “What I finally realized was this: As completely unfair as it felt, absorbing my grief, figuring it out, and living with it were my responsibilities. Nobody else could do it for me,” states the author up-front, while promising to offer “no toxic positivity or suggestions that you find gratitude in everything.” Everyone will eventually experience the loss of someone meaningful, and the idea that they’re expected to “move on” because “it’s time,” isn’t realistic. What is? Talking about the stuff that society shies away from in public conversation and holding an ongoing space for our losses – because relationships don’t end when someone dies, and our own lives hold enormous potential for significance after a loss. This interactive and beautifully illustrated handbook helps you to honor your person’s memory, deal with trigger days, manage your professional life, and navigate new and existing relationships. There’s no judgment, no worn-out platitudes, and absolutely no empty assurances. Instead, there are prompts, entertaining cartoons, creative projects, innovative rituals, therapeutic and expert-based exercises, and more—all to help someone explore the unique, messy, long arc of their loss on their own timeline. THE MODERN LOSS HANDBOOK is a tool in which to try out new ideas, confide, think things through, remember, mess up, and try again. Soffer helps readers to explore ways in which to: Hold onto memories without being held back Approach the big days – from birthdays to deativersaries, diagnosisversaries, and beyond – and form creative, personalized rituals and communal bespoke holidays. Care for one’s emotional well-being as they would their physical health, be it through talk/group/music therapy, writing exercises or cathartic destruction (it’s a thing!) Recognize the ever-changing physical experience of grief (brain fog, fatigue, body pains and tightness, digestive issues, the list goes on) and learn how to address them. Embrace humor unabashedly, with zero guilt about the moments that provide joy Navigate shifting relationships post-loss, from friendships to intimate connections Return to (and get through) work after a loss – including taking “grief days” As Soffer tells it: “Life and death are intimately linked; this book will help you weave your grief into your life in a way that is practical, creative, comforting, provoking, a bit fun, and, finally, hopeful.”  THE MODERN LOSS HANDBOOK is here to assist in building resilience and finding meaning: the ultimate goals in the wake of a loss.