Spank by Kurt Clopton

Here's Spank, the new novel from Kurt Clopton, author of SuperGuy and SuperGuy 2: Electric Boogaloo. And here’s what the members of the band and some hangers-on say about the book they’re in: “I started keeping a journal because I read somewhere that it was good for your mental health. I beg to differ. I really don’t understand how going back to wallow in every idiotic, bone-headed, epically dumb thing I’ve witnessed, done, or had done to me is in any way good for anybody. Why someone would want to publish it for others to suffer through is beyond me. All I wanted was a bass player for the band, but adding a new person to an already precarious mix can be messy. I know that messy is not even close to the right word choice but they won’t print the word I want to use on the back cover. Additionally, I don’t think this journaling thing made my mental feel any healthier.” -Kyle, journal keeper, vocals, bass, guitar “I am completely misrepresented in this literary POS.” -Neil, vocals and guitar, #FreeNeil #NoNeilHate “I picked it up based on the title, hoping for some light erotic paddle play, but it’s about a band. And not even a famous band.” -hotbottom54, spanking enthusiast “I only read nonfiction about Abraham Lincoln, and only in graphic novel form. I also only play in the key of Eb.” -Kenny, keyboards “I’m tempted to say Kyle doesn’t write the female voices very well, but the male characters kind of suck too, so it’s really pretty even. And sadly, very accurate.” -Jill, guitar “I don’t know why Kyle bothered. I lived it and I don’t think it makes for a good anecdote over a beer, let alone a novel. And it’s not even quite a novel, it’s more a novella. Seems like that tells you all you need to know.” -Rob, drums “I wish I’d read it before I agreed to join the band.” -Taylor, new bass player “As management, do I get a piece of this book? And how much is 15% of f@#k all?” -Easton, band manager (filling the position no one offered him)