Ship A Dick - Crewneck Sweatshirt

Holy Cockamole, Shaftman! Have we got a manty-dropping PSA for all ye Shipadick superfans out there!. So put down the Zima, you brown-nosed sycophants, and pay erection for once in your lives! Behold the Crew-neck Sweatshirt. Available in sizes from S to XL, this clitoral pink & cock-crafted cotton sweatshirt is softer than the sweet spot on your Grandma’s front-butt. Other lame companies will print their logos on cheap t-shirts from Costco that will not only turn your nipples into bloody, puss-filled volcanoes, but they’ll shrink instantly like your cocktail wiener in a kiddie pool. Not us. Our state-of-the-art printing comes standard with a foot-long hot dog in a hallway. Yes, my friends the 90’s are back. Go frost those tips, check your hotmail accounts and peel Axl Rose from that gas station bathroom. Oh and buy this shiek-AF, crew-neck sweatshirt from your buttrockin’ brothers at ShipADick!  8 oz; 50% cotton, 50% polyester Air jet yarn for a softer feel & no pilling 1x1 athletic rib cuffs & waistband with spandex; Double-needle stitching Care: Machine wash cold; Tumble dry low Print Method: DIGISOFT™ Every order is sent anonymously! Your secret is safe with us. Some Frequently Asked Dick Questions: - Are the dicks sent anonymously? They sure are! The only clue of where it came from will be Ship A Dick’s return address on the shipping label.  Even if they email us asking who sent it, we’ll tell them it goes against our Ship A Dick Code of Ethics and we won’t give out that private information. - Are you sure they won’t find out I sent it?? I’m really worried… Rest assured your secret is safe with us! We have never and will never give out any order information. - How is this giant dick shipped? We insert the full length penis into a thin brown paper bag, seal it up, slap a shipping label on it and send it out into the wild via the United States Postal Service. Every order gets a large orange sticker that says "Fondle With Care' - How much is shipping? All dicks are shipped via the United States Postal Service. The cheapest shipping option is ‘First Class Mail’ and generally runs about $5 and takes 3-6 business days to arrive. The faster and more expensive option is ‘Priority Mail’. It costs about $7-$12 depending on the destination and will arrive in 1-3 days. All shipping costs will be calculated on the checkout page.  - How long does it take to get there? Generally, we ship dicks within 24hrs after they’re ordered, occasionally within 2 days of an order. No dicks are shipped on weekends; please time your order accordingly. If they are shipped via ‘First Class mail’ then it will take 3-6 business days to arrive once the order is processed. Faster shipping via ‘Priority Mail’ will get your dick there in 1-3 days after the order is processed. We do not guarantee the USPS won’t drop the balls on this.  - Will the recipient know I sent them a giant dick? Nope! They will only see ShipADick.com’s return address. It’s our dirty, little secret. We promise not to tell. - How thick is the dick? Dicks are made of 1/4″ double-walled gluten free, free-range, certified orgasmic cardboard. What they lack in thickness, they deliver, like a Creed slow jam, in beauty and grace. - What color are the dicks? Like your Aunt Edna’s underwear, white on one side, and brown on the other. - Why are you guys even doing this?!?!? Because shipping giant dicks to people brings us more joy than anything else in life (after handies from your mother of course.) - Do you live and operate ShipADick.com out of your parent’s basement? Yes… How’d you guess that?!?!?