Project Hail Mary Rocket Dick

Blast off into the cosmos with the only piece of movie memorabilia that guarantees a successful re-entry. We’ve teamed up with Amazon MGM Studios to bring you the official Project Hail Mary Rocket Dick. When the fate of humanity is on the line and the sun is being eaten by microscopic space-algae, there’s only one thing to do: send a giant, cardboard phallus into the void. This isn't just a gift; it’s a mission. "Amaze, Amaze, Amaze!" As you can see from our high-tech blueprints, we’ve captured every detail of Ryland Grace’s journey. The Cock-pit: Peer through the porthole to see Commander Grace and Rocky the Eridian sharing a platonic, cross-species moment. Maximum Thrust: Equipped with twin boosters at the base to ensure this package reaches its destination faster than a Stratt-ordered orbital launch. Official Seal: Features the Hail Mary mission patch, because even a joke gift needs scientific credibility. Look, Amazon MGM Studios originally pitched us a "Rock Hard Rocky Dick" concept. We had to put our foot down. Here at Ship A Dick, we pride ourselves on being a family-friendly establishment. We told those Hollywood suits that we only deal in sophisticated cardboard genitalia. "Rock Hard Rocky" was just a bridge too far. We’re here to save the Earth, not corrupt it! Why You Need This: Science-Adjacent: It’s basically a physics lesson if you throw it hard enough. Eridian Approved: Rocky says it "has good tubular frequency, question?" The Ultimate Burn: Much like the Hail Mary itself, this gift is designed for a one-way trip to someone who definitely deserves it. Warning: This rocket is significantly smaller than the one in the movie, but don't worry—it’s still way bigger than anything your mom is used to seeing in the mail. FREE Notecard included :) SPECS: 29" tall 17" wide Laser cut shape Laser-engraved text Every order is sent anonymously! Your secret is safe with us.