Paul Hooper - Tense & Uncomfortable (CD)

It’s a little hard to tell if Paul Hooper meant himself or the audience when titled his latest “Tense & Uncomfortable,” but within moments, everyone’s settled right in. It just takes a beat after the rousing opener: “Here comes the negativity!” As if label-mates Jim David and Doug Stanhope made some unholy alliance and then got Jason Sudeikis to overdub the whole thing, Hooper’s got a confident, slightly manic, fully filthy, and absolutely likeable, unique stride on the mic. He could write books titled What to Expect When You’re Expecting an Enema and The New American Dream: Live a Life So Awesome Your Kids Can Never Come Close. And the wisdom doesn’t end there. Try this on for size: It’s not a good thing to find out your kids don’t have autism—those are just garden-variety dummies. Reading the Bible will make you understand why saying “heck” and watching “Reba” are tickets to hell and why selling fear and guilt are the fastest way to Scrooge McDuck riches. Reading the Koran and Charlotte’s Web atop a table at a suburban Starbuck’s, however, is probably the only way to get the cops called quicker than putting a clown in cowboy boots holding a snake in Paul Hooper’s path. The term “triple threat” refers to a combination of MS, Parkinson’s, and Lupus, and you don’t necessarily want to know how you get it, but it’s still better than the aforementioned clown showing up at a dog track. Finally, to quote the man himself, “If you can piss off one ignorant person a day, you’re doing God’s work.” Ladies, he may be short with baggy eyes, but Paul Hooper has gorgeous genitals, and it’s time we all got to know him… right after he’s done eating his bubble-bath Manwich. Track Listing Impatient Hello/Autism Test Drunken Expectations Pumpkin Headed Berserker Alone Height Differential or Dipping into My Wheelhouse A Really Tired Argument Enema Harangue Sensitive Droids Reverend John Jerusalem Gift Shop Pancake Breakfast Dog Track Clown Molested Manwich Bath Time for TV Credits