Muff Diver - Body Hair & Beard Conditioner, Frizz Control, Deodorant

Muff Diver was designed to do two things....make a man's beard smell like an orgasmic forest from the far lands of Rivendell...and to make your armpits and crotch smell even better than that. Massage 2 pumps of Muff Diver between the hands and attempt to rub it into the skin underneath the beard, armpits or pubic area.  Muff Diver will coat the shaft of each hair keeping it hydrated and shiny.  Muff Diver delivers critical fatty acids and nutrients to soothe the follicles and to grow stronger, thicker, shinier hair.  Muff Diver will also tame frizzy flyaways and turn a Gandolf looking bush into a streamlined Clark Kent.   No matter if you’re as hairless as a sphinx or channelling disco fever from the 70’s, you can apply Muff Diver to your armpits and/or pubic area (external use only).   Muff Diver not only treats, conditions & moisturizes hair roots and shafts, but it also gets rid of razor burn and ingrown hairs.  You’re welcome. Muff Diver’s scent is rich & timeless, with strong vanilla overtones cascading like fresh mountain air through fir trees dipped in tangerine.  The high notes unleash energy and desire with the low-notes offering warm, spicy holiday comfort.  Muff Diver is an intoxicating and psychedelic experience for any nose, be it male, female or any shade in between. Men with beards are big fans.  Girlfriends and boyfriends of men with beards are also big fans 😁   Pro Tip - Apply immediately after drying off from the shower while you're still slightly damp.