Simmah Down Bitch Bath Salts.

Seriously Soothing Lavender Bath Salts. We could tell you this shit is like soaking in a giant tub of tequila, but hey, we won't bullshit you. Nothing is that fucking good. However, our bath salts come pretty close. These salts are the real deal, no-fucking-around, seriously cleansing shit. Packed with sodium, magnesium, and potassium, they balance out your wacky shit, firm your skin, cleanse your pores, and hell, they might even balance your fucking checkbook. And you know what? They'll even help you break it off with that psycho who's been begging you to join her barre class. Bitch, please. Lavender Bath Benefits: a Seriously Soothed Self. This shit is infused with real fucking amazing essential oils. We're talking lavender, sage, and lemon verbena here, and it's a match made in heaven. These oils will soothe your tired ass, leaving you feeling like a goddamn champion. It'll unschnoz your schnoz, if your schnoz is schnozzy. European sea salt will put the kibosh on any and all ass-aches and sore muscles, so if you're butthurt you'll soon be feeling fucking fantastic. This is some seriously soothing shit. We ain't fucking around.