Ice Cream- Beanie Maroon

Science has finally cracked it. The only cure for brain freeze is putting the ice cream on the outside of your head. Slap this on and you become the cherry on top of every room you walk into. Your ears stay warm, your vibe stays chill, and your whole personality goes up about three scoops. People will call you "sweet." People will call you "a treat." One guy at the bus stop will call you "cone-fident," and he'll be right. Side effects include being declared the "Sundae Funday" coordinator, waffling on nothing ever again, and a strong new belief that rocky road is a lifestyle, not a flavor. The pom-pom works like a scoop of whipped cream for your skull: fully unnecessary, 100% required. Nobody ever looked back and said, "I should've had less ice cream." Wear it all winter. No spoon needed.