Do Not Give Me A Cigarette

This shirt is not just a warning—it’s a desperate plea to prevent a chain reaction that could unravel reality as we know it. The last time you had a cigarette, the stock market crashed, birds started speaking Latin, and a mysterious figure in a trench coat handed you a key with no explanation. You don’t even smoke, but somehow, you just know that if you do, the fabric of existence will fold like a cheap lawn chair. Wear this as a public service before it’s too late.