Cursing Home / Cold War by John Chambers

Cursing Home The old shall destroy the young Grandpa Earnest is dragged from his home and banished to Withered Oaks-a nursing home for seniors with magical powers. While there, he discovers a demon-worshipping cult bent on revenge against the young for their cruel and heartless ways. Earnest's granddaughter, Arica, is the only one who sympathizes with his plight. She breaks into the facility to rescue him. But will Earnest accept her help, or will he join the cult and deliver sweet payback to the young for their crimes against the old? "Balls to the wall Bizarro gangster madness." - Garrett Cook, author of A God of Hungry Walls Cold War Gordy Beck wants to deal his drug-laced ice cream to children in peace, but standing in his way are rival confection dealers and gangs who want a piece of the action. His brother, Quinton, works for the Sno-Cone Mafia, the chief threat to Gordy's business. When Quinton orders a hit on Gordy, it triggers an all-out war. Gordy enlists the help of his lover (a living ice cream sandwich), and a sentient bag of frosting called the Buttercream Bandit, who uses her Jawbreaker tumors as deadly weapons. In his quest for absolute control of the neighborhood, Gordy must fight off cotton candy slush demons, Sno-Cone henchmen, an overzealous neighborhood watch, and his own brother. Amid icy combat, the brothers must decide which is more important-business or family. But in the end, only one treat lord will reign supreme. "Action-packed and funny as hell. Cold War is high-concept bizarro done right!" - Danger Slater, author of Moonfellows and House of Rot.